When the stars scream

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I had the wierdest possible, scariest omgod... what a nightmare it was! when i woke up jerkily, the first thing i did was to THANK GOD that whatever i had seen was not happening to me now.

You know, i was in this oversees learning journey to a place which totally looked like singapore. i entered the nightmare when my whole family [till now, i have the slightest idea on what they were doing there. ] was "ordered" to stay in YOUR (host family) house. i was at a loss for words, i really REALLY wanted to get away from YOUR place. then YOU came back from YOUR school and then left immdiately upon hearing that i will be staying in YOUR house. it was abashing when YOU left, coz YOU didnt wanna look at me anymore. I couldnt go back to the school because the host thingy was compulsory. OMGOD. i wanted to scream. yell. shout. burst out crying.

but the only thing that overtook me was, emptiness - no tears. no thoughts.

confusion prevailed. i was dead scared. i ran to my room. i know YOU dint want me to live in YOUR house. i turned around and my parents were doing their own work. I saw YOU after that. SOLEMN. DAAAAAMN. i threw tantrums my parents couldnt fathom (where the heck did my sister go?)

if my mum tried to prick on my conscience by talking about gratitude and something about being a renting a flat to YOUR family, it didnt work. i wept. i was lost; nearly lost my head.

then i woke up gasping for air. then this scene came into my mind: i was in the trenches and got shot when i was trying to save YOUR life.

i swear, if the nightmare was true, i wouldnt give a damn about the host part and i will go away (i also thought of going to London to be a nurse in a hospital for soldiers who got wounded in a war. i know, strange.) HAHA I am in ecstasy!

LALALA the dream nearly illed me okay! anyways, i am bored. i hafta go back to school tmr for some discussion.

and, i 'd rather you be angry at me than being sad.
i'd rather you not know what had happened.

oh i came across this quote whilst reading a book.

" FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE, NO PROOF IS NEEDED.
FOR THOSE WHO DONT BELIEVE, NO PROOF IS ENOUGH"

so true!

my heart leapt on 5:10 AM